Man left fuming after £45 nude Greek statue arrives with testicle missing

Chris Marsh ordered a reproduction of the classic statue of Hercules wrestling with Diomedes, as seen in the Palazzo Vecchio in Italy, but unfortunately it arrived with a testicle missing

A man was ‘fuming’ after ordering a £45 reproduction of an ancient Greek statue – as it arrived with a testicle missing.

Chris Marsh, 42, had to buy a secret Santa gift for his work buddy, Tom Teal, and thought the statue of Hercules and Diomedes was perfect.

The model shows the two heroes of Greek mythology locked in a bitter battle, both completely naked, with Diomedes tightly gripping Hercules penis as he is dangled upside down.

But Chris was gutted when his statue, ordered for £45 from Wayfair, arrived with a missing testicle – but he was appeased when he was offered a discount.

When Chris realised his statue was faulty, he instantly got out his computer and sought out Wayfair’s customer service department, and spoke to Kelsey O.

Chris said: “He’s missing a b*k. Help. Please. Diomedes is missing a little something. He’s missing his left ball.”

Kelsey replied: “Oh dear poor guy! I’ve zoomed in on the website photo and it certainly looks like there should be two! We have a couple of options here and I hope not to offend!”

Kelsey then offered Chris a 15 per cent discount, which he refused as Diomedes is “half a eunuch, looks like he’s from the Game of Thrones”.

She then concedes, adding “as a girl I didn’t want to presume how valuable a missing testicle was”, before giving Chris a 33 per cent discount.

Chris, who lives in Doncaster, south Yorks, still plans to give Tom the gift for Christmas – despite the missing appendage.

He said: “I was looking for something really abstract and weird for Tom.

“Hercules looks a bit like Tom, which is quite amusing. Damocles is upside down. I have a bit of a goatee and I’m the boss so you can see where I went with that.

“His boss gets the bigger laugh by grabbing his pecker. When it arrived I had a closer inspection and I was like ‘Really?’

“I’ve not given it to him yet and he doesn’t know what he’s getting.

“I chose to keep it and take the discount just for the comedy value. I can’t wait for Christmas – hopefully he’ll put it on his mantlepiece and will end up having to explain why it only has one ball.”